Start here or catch up. It’s up to you.
I’ve been blogging about what happened this fall when it was time to put my capris away and get my pants out. What a journey of transformation looks like when I couldn’t comfortably wear my pants because they were so tight. You can go back and read the last three blogs if you want to catch up or, you can start here to get right to the most amazing part in the conclusion of this story of my tight pants.
Moving on 101.
We all create stories. We do. It’s how our brains work. It can also be how we block ourselves from growth and more significantly, from peace, joy, consistency, and sustainability. It’s 90% of the time how we create our own stress because rarely is our life actually in imminent danger. That IS what the stress response if for, after all. That said, the tight pants are in the past and after this blog, I will leave them in the past where they belong. I couldn’t move on until I fully expressed the many gifts those tight pants have given me, looser pants being the least of them.
I’m still an emotional eater.
I blogged about that last time. It was a big eureka moment for me though I’m not sure why. Maybe because old patterns written in the subconscious are really grooved deep. They are in the subconscious after all and they have been there most of life. It makes sense that they might remain and it makes sense they might be insidious. When I made an effort to eat less I found out that the addictive pattern of want, want, wanting it, was still there. I just hadn’t really experienced it in a while because I gave into it. It was all subconscious. I had no idea until I brought it into the conscious where I could look at it, experience it. I can’t tell you how necessary this is for everything you want to “work on”, every habit you want to change, every area you wish to transform. We all have to be willing to look at it and become aware. Awareness is the first critical step. There’s nothing like creating awareness than flipping a pattern upside down. If you ask me, this is the most important reason we create an action plan. Often times the real juice in the action plan is in NOT sticking to it. It’s telling and we need to listen.
After this initial shocker so many things happened. Coincidently I was also teaching a lot on being mindful. My amazing clients were diving headlong into mindfulness practices and I gave two presentations on the topic. I was also researching the evidence-based studies of meditation and how it changes the brain. Was it a coincidence that this all happened at the same time or is it the serendipitous things that happen when you have a vision? You can decide that for yourself. I’m quite sure of my conclusion. (I’m coyly smiling and winking at you right now.)
More truths revealed.
Out of all of this, all that started with a too tight pair of pants here’s what happened. I began a daily practice of prolonged meditation. I experienced all the benefits of it including more clarity, creativity, love toward myself and others, trust in my intuition and a really defined sense of purpose. Can you imagine? All because my pants were too tight.
I realized that I am not at all like the status quo in my industry. I took, am taking, a 30-day social media detox. I pop back in to promote my charities and programs and when I did, It was so clear, the stark contrast between me, my desires and the predictable marketing “templates” widely used. When I return to it my presence will be so much more aligned with me, my Truth and my divine purpose. It may or may not look different to you but it will feel sooooo much different to me. I think I’ll blog another time about discovering I am a dopamine junky, yet another discovery through this process.
I realized like Simon Sinek talks about, I am so not about the hustle. It is just not my truth and it’s okay for me to live my truth. I discovered an age-old contract, maybe lifetimes, I’ve had with scarcity. I discovered it, accepted it and released it. I discovered a shadow part of myself that I had been rejecting, that I AM judgemental, bossy and think I have all the answers sometimes and that that is okay. I learned to unconditionally love this part of me and allow her to exist. She guides direction for my life snarkily and judgementally showing me how I want to live, teach, and preach. Yes, preach. She is a vital part of the warrior goddess in me. She is for my purpose and growth and none other.
I absolutely owned my talents and that I am a teacher of divinity. This divinity looks like profound self-love, self-care, peace, calm, fitness, nutrition, clear communication, boundaries, owning Truth, allowing, being present, and so many other things. I fell in love with the fact that I do not have a gimmick. I mean no disrespect here. I love them and use them all, the tapping, the oracle cards, the Reiki, the connection to angels, the dowsing rods, and the pendulum, the prayer, all of them, it’s just that I embraced that it is not my calling to capitalize on them in my practice.
I have been called and so have you.
What is my calling? I am 100% sure it will evolve as I continue to grow. Here’s what I know. I am here to Be love. I know you’ve heard me say it all along and I knew it all along but now, I see where it’s taking me. Like anything you spot that’s significant to you-you start to see it everywhere. You see the sweet momma that has put the 40 pounds back on and she’s out beating herself up with another run and still hiding from the inside work. You see the precious women who can’t let go of something that happened years ago and returns to high anxiety over and over again because it distracts from feeling the pain. You see the momma who enters a cycle of drama yet again with her adult children and while she has really done nothing to do it differently, she’s too afraid, she somehow expects this time it will be different because there is always hope. You see the women who value open political communication so they start conversations, invite others and yet the listening goes by the wayside. You see the lack of acknowledging and validating. I see it because this is me. I am all that I see and all that I see is me. What calling lurks beneath your surface? Your here for something very special. Do you ever get curious about what that is? Whatever it is, living it will make you feel better, bring you peace and profound joy, even when you put on your fall pants and they’re too damn tight. Adjusting your food intake and movement will come naturally because you are grounded and aligned with living the absolute Best version of yourself and you will get better at it, not in spite of the shit storms like pants that are too tight but because of them.